I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
