so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
