my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
