my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
