he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Too much gin, very little bucket
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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