wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
