do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
