When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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