i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
