He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize