Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
