There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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