I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
