but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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