If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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