I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize