I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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