I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize