I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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