Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
