i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
