used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He has the fingertips of a God
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