please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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