Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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