I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
