Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
