There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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