I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Randomize
