I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
