Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
