Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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