In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize