Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I want to be your penis for a week.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
