i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
