i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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