I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
