i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
