and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
