I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
