The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
