If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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