This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
