Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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