She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
