Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Alive.
So much puke
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
