Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
