Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
