i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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