Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
