yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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