Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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