we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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