omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize