I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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