His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
