i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
