GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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