Sponge bath it is.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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