Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
from now on my penis is your penis
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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