i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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