Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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