he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
