I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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