I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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