Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
