god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize