We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
