Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Still dying that you shit outside
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Randomize
