Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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