I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she looked like the before picture.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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