I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize