Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
