so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
