So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
