I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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