The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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