My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
