Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
where does the pee come out of this thing
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
